I’ve always struggled to find my purpose (hello undefined G center in human design). And I always imagined purpose was a clear-cut black-and-white thing like “Your purpose is to be a consultant” or a marketer or whatever. But it’s not clear-cut or black-and-white and it’s not even one single bulls-eye point on a target. What I’ve come to find is Purpose is ever-changing and it’s in flow and in flux and it shifts and evolves together with where you are in the seasons of your life. So even when I was in jobs that didn’t fulfil me, I was still living on purpose, even when I felt lost and confused, I was still on purpose, because it’s those moments that have led me to where I am now, where I can use my experience to support others who may be going through the same things. So whatever you’re experiencing, you’re always on your purpose. Because our purpose from the very beginning was simply to come into this lifetime to experience different things and learn lessons for the greater evolvement of our soul. That’s our purpose, that’s it! So even if you’re living out of alignment, that experience of living out of alignment serves a purpose because there’s something to be learned from it. There’s something you can take away from that experience of living out of alignment that you can and will use to serve your mission later on. And turns out that my mission is what I’ve been searching for this whole time—what did I come here to do, how can I make an impact, what are my gifts, how can I serve others? And I’m really beginning to experience and understand that mission comes up in divine timing. Whenever I’ve tried to force clarity around my mission, that’s when I feel more and more confused. Whenever I simply allow myself to surrender deeper into flow and Self and trust, that’s when I start to receive more clues from the universe that point me to greater clarity. So you don’t need to go searching for it. All you need to do is live in alignment and surrender. And your mission will come and find you. Because even if you do go searching for it and have someone tell you “what your soul’s purpose is” which I did through the akashic records, through my astrology, through my human design, through different coaches mentors healers guides etc, it still won’t tell you exactly what you want to hear. All of these modalities can help and provide more affirmation or structure to understand yourself better, but the final key actually lies in each and every one of our selves. And the key will be unveiled at the time that it’s meant to. Because even if the key is unveiled earlier than it’s meant to, we wouldn’t know what to do with it. We wouldn’t know which door to put it in or how to use it because it’s such a special kind of key that it hasn’t been seen anywhere else and is one-of-a-kind to ourselves. So what I’ve come to find is the question isn’t “what’s my purpose” the question is “am I living in alignment?” And living in alignment will lead me through my mission. Notice I’m saying THROUGH my mission, not TO my mission. Because it’s not about finding the end destination it’s about finding that aligned living along the way. It’s the age old saying about “ it’s the journey not the destination.” So rather than focusing on the target of my mission and how exactly I’ll be successful in it, I am currently in the practice of continually just coming back into alignment with Self.
Thinking back on my journey, I was obsessed with finding my purpose. And what I’ve realised is that I was bringing the exact same energy to it that I lived in before of always searching for things outside of me. Being on that hamster wheel constantly reaching, seeking, clawing for something. It used to be that I was always chasing after the next job, next company, or promotion for validation and fulfilment. And then when I started to understand that I wasn’t going to find true fulfilment in a 9-5 corporate job, I started looking for validation and fulfilment through finding my purpose and doing more soul-aligned work. And yet, after leaving my job, jumping into a pretty successful yoga teaching career right off the bat, and launching my coaching business, I still felt lost and confused, and I still felt that I was searching for something and yearning for something more. More joy, more fulfilment, more success, more clarity around my purpose. And now I realise It’s the same shit just dressed up in a slightly different costume. Because once again I’m looking for something outside of me to fill me up, instead of looking to fill myself up from the inside.
At the end of the day, all of our bullshit and all of our problems comes down to not feeling worthy, not feeling good enough, not feeling loved, and ultimately, not loving ourselves. Which all trickles back to not identifying as already being perfect, as already being whole, as already being one with the divine. So right now I see so clearly that how I want to make an impact and how I want to serve is by guiding people back to remembering their divine Self. To remember their infinite nature. To remember their one-ness with God. To love themselves so fully and completely and whole-heartedly that they never abandon themselves or seek love or approval or validation outside of themselves ever again. I have no idea how I’m going to do that. I don’t even know how to do that for myself yet. But I am putting this out there and I’m trusting that I will be supported. That as long as I continue to live day-by-day, step-by-step in full alignment with my true Self, that God/Universe/Source/The Divine will lead me through my mission.
Who’s with me?